I don’t know if it’s because it’s winter or if it’s because I’m destined to be forever chemically imbalanced - but I’m back to that place where I want to self destruct and punish myself for nothing. I forget about the importance of taking care of myself, sleeping, eating. I take these antidepressants, but every night, when I’m by myself, it comes back. I don’t understand what my problem is. What it’s always been. I have a life I should be thrilled about, but I’m a miserable fuck. I’ve always been a miserable fuck.