I recently deactivated my facebook. Something I had been wanting to do for a long time. But I isolate myself from everyone in real life (with the exception of my boyfriend whom I live with). Facebook was a distraction to keep me thinking I had a lot of friends. In real life, it comes down to 2 actual friends. And I can’t even open up properly to them. I spend a lot of time putting up walls and keeping secrets about myself from everyone around me. I’ve done this as long as I can remember. I think I really do have mental illness to the point where I can’t function “normally”. I haven’t had a job in about 5 years (I have financial help from family right now). I’m going to community college, but I’m taking art classes because I’m afraid to take anything else. I’m doing that just to make it look like I’m doing *something*. Because I got tired of people asking me what was going on in my life and me answering, “nothing”. I’m also waiting to hear back from a doctor about what kind of anti anxiety medication they will be switching me to. I’ve been on wellbutrin for depression, for about 2 and a half years now and I’m realizing it’s not working anymore (they’ve also referred me to a psychiatrist for further evaluation). That nauseous, anxious, miserable pit in my stomach is coming back again. I’m also trying to figure out what to do next to deal with fibromyalgia (I’ve been living with all the symptoms since I was about 14) and I also suspect I have a sleeping disorder. Aside from that, I’m struggling with my identity. I have no career path, I’m sick of photography and I don’t know what to do with my life. The other thing I’ve been bottling for years, is the fact that I have closeted my sexual interest in women. I’m in a healthy, happy, monogamous relationship with my boyfriend of 9 years. But I feel sexually confused and I recently admitted this to him. Which pained me to do so. I don’t want to ruin what we have. But I’m so lost. 

5 days ago 12 notes

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6 days ago 226 notes


Memorials all over the World for Robin Williams - his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, his house from Mork & Mindy, the bench from Good Will Hunting, and the house from Mrs Doubtfire among them.

Rest in Peace Robin Williams.

I’m having a really hard time accepting his death. I’ve never felt this upset about a celebrity death before. He brought so much joy to my childhood. And he left this world hurting more than anyone probably knew. I’ve suffered for most of my life from depression and anxiety and I can tell you, it’s not easy when our society doesn’t even want to talk about it. It’s a real thing, it exists, people are living with it. And some days, it feels impossible to carry on. Robin Williams wasn’t just a talented and brilliant entertainer, but he was a beautiful soul. My heart hurts for him. ♥ Thank you for bringing us so much joy all those years. 

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Chloe Moretz photographed by Mert and Marcus for LOVE #9, Spring/Summer 2013

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Kuu laskee sumuun by Janne. http://flic.kr/p/ohxKNb

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1 week ago 52 notes


Dead at 63, Robin Wiilliams

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"There’s three things in this world that you need: respect for all kinds of life, a nice bowel movement on a regular basis, and a navy blazer."

— Parry, as portrayed by the late actor ROBIN WILLIAMS, in The Fisher King (1991).

Williams was found dead of asphyxia earlier today.  He was 63.

:’( well this sucks, right in the childhood feels. 

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Avalon on Flickr.

Model/MUA/Styling: Laurali
Photo: J Thamnos


only three notes wtf

wtf indeed! This shot is amazing

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Somnolent Still Life: Dairy Mourning by NataliaDrepina

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Gost of Avalon by Avine

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a fresh runaway by sparkbearer

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the ghost inside me by sparkbearer

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