I recently deactivated my facebook. Something I had been wanting to do for a long time. But I isolate myself from everyone in real life (with the exception of my boyfriend whom I live with). Facebook was a distraction to keep me thinking I had a lot of friends. In real life, it comes down to 2 actual friends. And I can’t even open up properly to them. I spend a lot of time putting up walls and keeping secrets about myself from everyone around me. I’ve done this as long as I can remember. I think I really do have mental illness to the point where I can’t function “normally”. I haven’t had a job in about 5 years (I have financial help from family right now). I’m going to community college, but I’m taking art classes because I’m afraid to take anything else. I’m doing that just to make it look like I’m doing *something*. Because I got tired of people asking me what was going on in my life and me answering, “nothing”. I’m also waiting to hear back from a doctor about what kind of anti anxiety medication they will be switching me to. I’ve been on wellbutrin for depression, for about 2 and a half years now and I’m realizing it’s not working anymore (they’ve also referred me to a psychiatrist for further evaluation). That nauseous, anxious, miserable pit in my stomach is coming back again. I’m also trying to figure out what to do next to deal with fibromyalgia (I’ve been living with all the symptoms since I was about 14) and I also suspect I have a sleeping disorder. Aside from that, I’m struggling with my identity. I have no career path, I’m sick of photography and I don’t know what to do with my life. The other thing I’ve been bottling for years, is the fact that I have closeted my sexual interest in women. I’m in a healthy, happy, monogamous relationship with my boyfriend of 9 years. But I feel sexually confused and I recently admitted this to him. Which pained me to do so. I don’t want to ruin what we have. But I’m so lost.